This article is what inspired me to reflect back to the first time I tried them.
The 48-year mother of three was given psilocybin, the main ingredient in the “magic mushrooms” of the 1960s, as a remedy to ease anxiety. She spent most of her first “trip” crying, then emerged from the next with less anxiety, better sleep and happier relations with family and friends, she recalled.
“The experience “really cracked me open,” said Reamer, an anesthesiologist at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore before she was diagnosed with leukemia. “It let me be in life again, instead of this place of fear where I had been living.”
It was about 8 months after my car accident but only a couple months after I finally started to feel like myself again (very few symptoms of PTSD). For a couple of hours during my trip tears uncontrollably fell down my face; I wasn’t certain that I was crying but I felt leaky. I’m sure my allergies didn’t help the situation. Before I read this article, I didn’t understand why I felt the way I did. But now, it makes more sense to me. When I was crying, I didn’t feel sad or emotional. It felt good to cry, like I was finally able to let go of my bad feelings and negative thoughts. I felt a weight being lifted off my shoulders and stopped worrying so much. At the time though, I didn’t know that crying like this was okay and was a healing process that I was going through due to my unique experience. I felt embarrassed and was afraid of ruining someone else’s trip. I came out of my trip with only positive thoughts about it but I wasn’t sure if I would do it again because of the crying. I’m really glad that I came across this article because I feel better about myself now. I realize that I was just letting go of my anxiety and fear. I still find myself thinking back to the day I should have died daily and I still feel great anxiety when I drive, depending on the situation. I am determined to heal and it makes me feel so much better knowing that I’m not alone. Although my situation is greatly different than being diagnosed with cancer, I couldn’t help but feel like Reamer and I had gone through similar trips. It really helps knowing that some people understand why I cried during my trip.
